Comatose...

I've decided to move back to this blog over here just because I like the feel of it better than livejournal. Livejournal feels way to commercial now, especially if you don't want to pay for any of their services. Don't get me wrong, I'll still check in over there from time to time on my friends list, but I probably won't post.

I've just been feeling the need to blog lately. I don't know where it comes from. I'd say that 80% of the time journaling for my own self is enough. (Heaven forbid anyone ever try to read my journals in chronological order, because I switch books as the mood strikes me, it's a weakness, what can I say?)

It's becoming summer slowly here in the Northwest and I love it so much. Each day brings new and exciting plants to life and bloom and all the greatness. I just like to sit outside and enjoy it. However, I'm in the middle of an 8 day stretch at work that I signed up for like and idiot and I'm exhausted and thus not really enjoying much of anything.

I went to an Evelyn Evelyn/Amanda Palmer/Jason Webley/Sxip Shirey concert last week and it was amazing. It was so much fun. I have never felt so much in touch with everyone in the venue. It was great. Especially since it thinned out a bit at the end and all that was left were the people who felt like this was the place that they wanted to be. It was epic. It was something I would do again, anytime, anywhere. It made me feel so great. And you know it's an excellent show when you come away feeling better about yourself and like you've just been seriously entertained.

So, struggling with a lot of people issues lately. Just feeling alone and like I have no one to do stuff with. Which is usually largely my own fault because I don't call people and just dumb shit like that. And I don't feel appreciated, even though I know that it isn't true that I'm not appreciated. I'm trying to figure out who I don't feel appreciated by, and it's not anyone that I can put my finger on, it's just my vague feeling of meh-ness. I want to run away sometimes, but I don't really. Because running away would be hard and I don't feel like I ever do anything hard anymore. Grrrr...I also think it's because I don't have enough music. I need more music. And more art. I always wonder why I don't paint or carve or sculpt or do anything like that. And I'm finding more and more people annoying at work and getting really easily aggravated (which could also be the working 8 days in a row thing).

I just don't know what I want to do right now. I want to do everything and that's paralyzing me so that I end up doing nothing.

Frustration.