The Mysterious Mind of Me

Perhaps this is not clear, but I spend a lot of time thinking about the process of thinking. Such as how I get into thinking about really strange things in my head. I think there are probably several levels of thinking going on in any persons head at any one time. You've got the surface level, where you are thinking about things you need to do and listening to what people are saying to you and participating in conversations and such. The kind of basics level. Then you have another level perhaps below that, perhaps just y'know more like a circle within a circle where the break down of what's going on in the outer level happens. Where conversations get saved for later dissection and it'll throw things at you occasionally out of no where. This level seems to be very active for me when I am driving. I'll just start breaking every other thing down and trying to draw all sorts of crazy conclusions from it. Sometimes, if left to it's own devices, at least for me, this level can do more harm than good when it gets stuck on some crazy paranoid bender of the-world-hates-me-ness. Now deeper within a circle within in a circle of you brain is that level that takes care of all the stuff you never think about and throws random thoughts at you when you're right on the edge of sleep.

So that's my view on my strange meta-thinking type of process. My third ring of mind threw an interesting question at me when I was going to sleep last night...however, first let me make this clear. I am a huge day dreamer, I day dream all the fuckin' time. Like someday I may just lose myself in them and never come out. So, the thought my brain threw at me was this (and I'm cleaning it up a little because my brain is never really very clear on things that far in): When I day dream why am I never a vampire?

And this puzzled me because it is true. In my day dreams that involve vampires, I never am one. Hmmmmm...this made me think that there were probably all sorts of interesting conclusions that I could draw from that about my brain and my self and all sorts of stuff. But more it just made me think. Then it made me think back through TV shows. Could it be because you never see bad-ass female vampires with souls struggling to redeem themselves? Hmmm Joss Whedon? And True Blood has some bad ass female vamps (I do especially love Pam, but Nan Flanagan has the potential to be pretty awesome too) but none of them compare in screen time to the guy vamps (or really in the amount of skin they show, because Eric and Bill have certainly been naked much more). So, maybe there is a lack of bad ass female vamp main characters on TV? And perhaps in books as well? Though Xhex is pretty awesome in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series. Hmmmm...

And then of course I have weird dreams with the Dresden Dolls in it and Amanda Palmer signing my ukelele...weird. My brain has way too much time on it's hands is my conclusion and I need to read more and watch less...well, probably watch less True Blood, but then I would just read more Sookie Stackhouse novels and it would end up pretty much the same.

Also I have officially lost 20lbs since June according to my mother's scale. WHOO HOO!

Later, next time I will try to explain something not as convoluted as my thought process. And I abhor proof reading which is why this blog will stay as poorly edited as it is. So there. You can't make me proofread! (Also the reason I shall probably never get anything published, ironically enough).