and the world spins on...

So, party planning not so much what i'm good at...got some people coming that i don't exactly want to come, but hopefully they won't stay that long. Sarah is dealing with Chris Hadley again, which is stupid. I just want people like that to go away. It's going to be an interesting night. I don't know how i'm going to get people to park were i want them to park but i'm going to try my bestest. I can't believe that i have to work another 12 hours tomorrow...at least it's money though, right? and money is what makes me fix my car. Got an interesting book today. It's called Fondling Your Muse, it's a humourous book about how to write a novel. Though most of it is humour there is a little bit of advice to be found in it. And that's very good. because advice is what i need. I might actually see if there's a writing a novel for dummies book because i would like some info on writing more well rounded characters. I need to continue on with the novel that i half finished for nanowrimo. I would really like to get that one published in teen fiction. I think i could sell a few. Perhaps not a best seller, but definitely something. That would be good. I could possibly bring in some royalties off of it and that would help with the finances a little. mmm...finances

All work and no play...

so i've been working over 12 hours the last two days and it's hard, much harder than i ever thought i would be, not so much the work itself but the dragging yourself out of bed at 4:30am to milk cows, and then dragging yourself to sit behind a desk for another 8 hours...doing stuff that's pretty much mindless...i am apparently a genius though according to the people at the hospital to be able to do as much as i can already, it's good to be complemented...mmmhmmm...i need to go to bed now however, because that's a good place to go when you have to work in the morning. Mom and Dad are having fun in hawaii which is good

Oh yes, Yes I do.

so...I don't know if i mentioned but i have an exciting new job. I did also talk to Audrey today. And i feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Other than that i don't know.

I'm supposed to be having this party, and i desperately wish to keep it small, but Mary keeps asking if she can invite all these people, and if i invite those people i need to invite yet more people...and i don't really want to. I want to keep it small. I mean like 10, MAYBE 12 people. That many are easy to manage and we have enough beds for them. But we're getting up into the maybe 17 range, and that makes me uncomfortable because i have to milk the next morning and work the next afternoon. So i think i'm going to say no to more people, it's just to much.

Eric is back up and he hasn't hung out with us once which isn't a huge surprise since he's all mister i'm gonna get married. That's so weird, i don't think he should do it, the girl is much to innocent for him and in about 3 years they're not going to be having any fun anymore and knowing eric he'll stay married just for the kids and then he'll be dooming himself to the life off his parents.

Ryan, don't even get me started, he's so weird, he thinks he's allowed to be way more cozy with girls than he should be and then doesn't ever realize that they don't want thim that close, need i explain anymore why i'm not inviting him?

Greg...Greg is someone i would have invited 6 months ago just because I feel pity for him. But that was before camp where he decided that my sister was the hugest flirt ever and totally led him on. Now i find him annoying because his ridiculous need for a girlfriend is consuming him...i swear it's all he ever thinks about and he's very bitter towards people who have a significant other and are happy. I don't think i really want to deal with him when he's drunk, i'm scared of what he might try to pull on my little sisters, or my friends since he cut Jack with a box top the other day. I am slightly concerned about him, but he's had plenty of chances to get a girlfriend, he's just to blinded by what he wants to see it. He wants a pretty pretty girl, maybe that's not what he's meant to have. He just makes me very angry, and him drunk is not my idea of a fun night, especially since i have to get up at 4:30 and go milk cows. I want to keep it fairly low key.

I seem to be having problems with everyone lately don't i? I just think it's that time of year. The time of year when i have infinite problems. I need to shock the hot tub before the 21st as well. Okay...i'm done and i'm going now. I get to sleep in tomorrow and i should savor the days while i have them

L'America

So, listening to the Doors, and basically just chilling, got up at 4:30am and milked cows...i don't think it's going to be that bad while dad is gone. Two cows came fresh today, mad cow and some heifer...that's the only part i'm worried about because we have to CMT them and stuff like that. I still think that my priorities are way different than anyone elses in the group of people that i hang out in. (Hyacinth House::The Doors) It's just kind of weirding me out right now. I know that i need to write the second half of that novel. And I'm already thinking about what I can write for next year. I'm thinking something modernistic instead of something that's fantasy. I think that might actually be a little easier. Murder mystery or something like that maybe. I have a few ideas floating around in my head and i should probably get them down on paper. Just sketch them out, i think that's allowed before November. And I can always write background stories...I have to stop typing now though because my mum wants the computer. (L.A. Woman::The Doors)

**toilet water**

Well, i feel really really mad at Audrey right now because I think that if it was a choice between something that i really really needed her there for and just hanging out with her boyfriend that she would choose him. Now, generally, i wouldn't have a problem with her picking him over me. I understand that he's her boyfriend and that they're in love and so on and so forth. But i really needed her for something tonight, and this is something I told her about weeks ago and reminded her about, so i feel really really betrayed having her not even call me and tell me that she's going to ditch me and go to a movie with her boyfriend. The only friend i have who i can trust is Krystal, and she's all the way in freaking Mexico. I feel that Krystal is the only one who wouldn't leave me stranded because of a boy. Lacy would, Audrey might not have a while ago, but i think she would now. I just don't know what to do. Do you get more friends? But how would I go about doing that? And it's basically inevitable that all of your friends eventually get boyfriends, what are you then? Just the fifth wheel who hangs around with them while they're all pretending to watch the movie and are really just making out? It's kind of pathetic I think that we can hardly go one night without calling boys to come over. What happened to female independence? To having the boys being the ones who call us? What happened to not needing the boys in order to have a good time? I feel like I'm surrounded by people who can't justify their existence without men, and that makes me feel weird. It makes me feel that it means i should have a boy, but at the same time it disgusts me because I don't want to be one of those people who needs a boy. It doesn't help that I don't think myself capable of getting one...but i don't even know how to try because it's so far out of my element. Boys are not one of those things that rank high on my priority list. School, Work, Career, those are thinks that have rank. Boys are down under Toilet Paper or something like that. It's just not something that matters a ton to me, though it seems to matter a lot to some of my friends. I mean, are our lists of priorities so different that hanging out with them has become kind of a...dare I say, waste of my time? I don't want it to be a waste, but at the same time, we don't have a lot in common anymore. I just don't know what to do about. Maybe I'll e-mail this all to Krystal or something like that and see what she thinks about it all. I feel like they're all moving in a direction in their lives that is not remotely close to the one i am moving in

**sound of water from the sink**

So, lately, not much has been happening in the exciting life of Grace. I graduate from the local community college next quarter and then i'm waiting till fall quarter in order to move on to Big People College as I like to refer to it as...everything seems to be moving so fast. I have so many fall back plans if i end up unable to do what i really want to do. I could start a book store with my minor in business and my vast interest in books of all sorts. I could start a bed and breakfast with my friends. There's so many things. Though i'm thinking that what i would really like to do for a few years out of college is go and work in a museum. Just catalogging and examining whatever i happen to come across.

I got some awesome perfume. It's from a place called Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs, though I ordered it from someone who had the samples and didn't want them (she sent me an extra because she's super spiffy!) So now i smell like Eden and i really like the scent on me. Mary is going to love Anne Bonny, because it's very patchouli like with undertones of whatever else. All i can smell is the Eden and it's wonderful. Sgt. Pepper is busy whining because he wants to go outside and i won't let him because he just got all clean. He's very loud and whiney and i think i should throw him upstairs. I also got my copy of (hardcover) Kushiel's Dart today, so it was basically like Christmas early with all the packages that i was opening.

Other than that things in the people area are good. Audrey's insistence on going nowhere with out Jack is beginning to annoy me a tad, but it's something i can deal with . It's like they are glued together at the hip and it's annoying to me, but i'm uncertain as to exactly why. Lacy still bothers me most of the time. She's so weird all of the time and she's like "Male attention!" and then she's like "EW BOYS!"

Bunch of Weirdos

It's cold in Antarctica

Here I am, writing in this…I just don’t know what to say.  I feel like people are annoyed with me, but I can’t get anyone to talk to me about it because they keep avoiding me.  Getting it cleared up would really help me out, but I can’t do it if they just keep avoiding me.  I hate that a little about people.  But I’ll deal with it, what else can I do?  

I didn't come here for that

Things have been good after camp. Well, for the most part. There is the whole current issue of the Eric/Lacy thing. They think that no one knows that they like to make out and whatever else with each other when they think no one's paying attention, alas, a few months ago Lacy told me that her and Eric make out (but she told me like she expected it to hurt me or something, which I thought was rather weird) It's taken a while, but everyone knows because they aren't very careful about it, and neither of them will admit to it despite our increasingly less subtle hints. It's really frustrating, I found these "Laws of friedship" thing in a magazine, one said what the tributes of a good friend were, and the other side of the table said the tributes of a bad friend, i found that Lacy matched more of the tributes on the bad side, overly aggressive, not willing to come out to help you when you need it. It made me wonder if she even knows that she's doing these things...

Also I've recently began my work out regime again (less of a regime and more of a "I feel like working out" type thing) and it feels good to get back on that wagon, and maybe it will help with the insomnia i've been suffering from lately, who knows

Get the Great Abs you deserve!

So, went to camp this week, it was pretty awesome. Just for those of us reading this, Camp Horizon is a camp for the disabled were I am a counselor. It's an awesome experience and makes you super greatful for all that you have. So anyway, this week I had my second favorite camper ever, Jessica, she's really sweet and doesn't talk all that much, but she loves music and any type of singing especially preschool songs. So she's super cool. Though I said something about how I had volunteered to take Jessica, and she thought I meant that no one else wanted to look after Jessica, which wasn't the case, I just get first dibs because I had her last year, so I know her behaviors better. Jessica was awesome this year, her behaviors have changed quite a bit, she's a lot better and talks a lot more and also likes to sing along. Other than that we have a lot of new ACs (Assistant Counselors) and most of them are pretty good, such as my little sister, Audrey's little bro and his friend Zach, the twins Michael and Eric, and Ed's friend that he brought with him, Aaron. As for some of the other ACs, there's a lot of room for improvement from Stevie B, Toddles needs to go home and not come back because he doesn't do his job at all and he does things that he really shouldn't. And is really annoying to all of the counselors. As for all the new girls except Felix, they're really rather annoying and kind of stupid, they have a big thing for Ed and Aaron over in Dorm B so they stand in front of they're windows naked and lots of people see them and are like "What the hell?" the cooks think we should take pictures and send them to their parents. Either way they're really annoying and enjoy causing drama and things like that, so we avoid them. gah...it's so frustrating...but that's about it...at least all I have to say right now

What is the sound of one fan...fanning?

Yes, I know, I'm not really overly consistent at this blogging thing, I really try to be. I lay there at night in my bed and think "I should really get up and write something on my blog since I can't sleep" and then I roll over. Anywho...here's what has gone down in the past few days.

I think last time I posted on here was after Saturday night of a week or two ago, so I'll give up the horrible news that my best friends dog died Tuesday morning and she was, and still is, devastated. Though if she keeps her mind off of it she doesn't cry. She found Daisy, her 9 year old Yorkshire Terrier, in the laundry room lying in her own puke. Daisy was never really a healthy dog to begin with, she had almost all the things wrong with her that a pure bred Yorkie can have wrong with them. They had to take out all of her teeth a few years ago, and she never could keep her tongue in her mouth after that. Audrey's trying to hold it together, and she's doing pretty good.

Other than that Jack is kind of freaking out because we're all going away to camp in a week and he's going to be left all alone. Except for the people that he used to hang out with, but all they do is drink, and he doesn't want to fall into that again, were he's drinking everynight just to be drunk. He's come to realize that he's kind of an alcoholic, which at 18 can't be to good. So he's feeling a lot of stress about other stuff right now as well. Poor boy.

And I know things about other people. I just still don't know what to do about Lacy. I just don't. I mean, I don't know that I can really prove she's been stretching the truth without involving everyone in it and then she's going to feel like we're all attacking her. Gah, what to do? I wish I had all the answers and 20-20 foresight so I could look at all the possible outcomes of a situation and then i would know if it was worth it. Or at least plan accordingly.

In other news, Jack has decided to invite Grahm to the next Pt. party...this secretly makes me want to scream in fear and excitement...I don't know what to do, I don't know what this means...I'm afraid to see him in a social setting because then i'll have to be social and I'm not really social at parties, I'm just the person that ends up helping everyone into bed or to the bathroom...I think Jack is doing it on purpose because he knows I like Grahm. It's scary to have people try to help you with your love life. It's scary to have people that care that much.

Did you guys say you wanted your car back or you wanted it impounded?

So...tonight was very horribly drama filled kind of. The night started out pleasant enough with all of us just chillin' in Audrey's room and playing guitar while Audrey was out talking to Vanessa. Nessa had to talk to her about what went down with her and Eric and how she didn't like it at all and she wanted to sort it all out. Later after Nessa came over Bryce, Jack, Danelle, and Barrett came over. None of them like Eric and this was made apparrent through out the night. Eric eventually left feeling bad for him, and Lacy left to because she was feeling bad for him (and hadn't realized that she had told Bryce it was okay to harass him, which I did as well since it would allow him to let off some much needed steam instead of having a full out fight)

So that was the whole night and Audrey was stressing out. I think her and Jack might be a little argh with eachother. I hope they are both okay. And I hope that they can work through this and be okay. All of this causes me some stress. Though I'm getting better at not letting it cause me stress and just trying to run around and decrease stress in everyone else. Of course there are people who increase the stress, such as whenever Jack and Danelle are together and talking about Eric they both start to get very angry and I try to defuse them both, but it's a lot harder with two of them than just one of them.

So that's the deal about it. I don't know how it's all going to go down this summer, it's really going to be a huge stress on Audrey. I hope I can help her with it, mostly I hope she lets me help her with it. **Sigh** she is one of my best friends...

It's not really a party til someone's foaming at the mouth

I've had a good start to the weekend how about you all out in the intarweb? Today Nate and I jammed on the acoustic electric guitars for a while it was really a good time. I gave him my other capo because I didn't really want it, what do I need two of them for?

My garden is gorgeous. I named my zuchinni plant Zeus. It's getting pretty big, and today I planted the cucumbers. I think I need a group name for all of the bush beans. My big tomato plant (the one that grows big tomatoes, because it's definitely not the biggest) is now named Norton and I gave him some fertilizer today because he needs to catch up to the other two plants. I have little Grape tomatoes already, as well as little grapes on the grape vines. As for the apples there are so many of them on most of the trees that they are already falling off and they're not ripe at all. However, there are no cherries at all because the tree bloomed to early and got frosted a couple of times. Poor cherries. The spinach and lettuce are good, thought I think the spinach it probably close to done. Also my pepper plants looked a little under the weather, they're not as big as I think they should be, so I gave them a little fertilizer with their water. It was good for them, now I am thinking I'm going to climb into my bed and sleep in tomorrow. Mmmmm, sleep.

The Aforementioned Eric Rant

So, I mentioned earlier that I would be ranting at some point about Eric and that whole situation. So let's start at the very very beginning.

We all really got to know Eric our first year at camp Horizon. He seemed like a great guy, he was funny, in a kind of a mean way, but funny as long as it wasn't directed at you, y'know. So, it went the same way that the rest of the relationship with the guys went, we were all really close, Eric still made inapropriate jokes at people, but not to us for the most part. As time went on he decided to pick on Krystal, he made fun of her more and more. She put up with this like a good sport and most of the other guys made fun of her a bit to, I think at one point it did go to far, and it felt like she was bearing the brunt of all of the guys teasing. This was about the time when Eric and Audrey started having their make-out sessions. It didn't take more than a few weeks for everyone to know what was going on, but Eric still never tried to form anything more concrete with her, even though Audrey kept hoping for it. Finally, that ended and things started to get weird between Audrey and Eric and he stopped coming around so much anymore. Everytime he came to hang out he'd make cutting remarks to Audrey that really hurt her, because Audrey still cared about him and hoped that maybe he would talk to her, but that never happened. Then over the summer, our second year at camp, Audrey met another boy who she thought she might like, he was sweet and pretty cute and had come up from Florida, but the boys didn't like him, because they still in some part considered Audrey to be connected to Eric in some way. They ostracized him and made things basically miserable for Audrey by not speaking to her, meanwhile this boy tried to play Krystal and Audrey against eachother, which eventually backfired with neither of them liking him like that and now we all joke about him, but still, it put tension into the group and that was basically the splitting apart of what it had been. Eric kept hanging out with us less and less and when he did come his remarks became more and more cutting towards everyone. In about September of last year, Audrey met another boy, named Jack, they made out once or twice during our drunken debauchery in September, and eventually, Jack asked her to be his girlfriend, this made Audrey SO happy, and Jack treated her (and still does) like a queen. But this kind of made it come into Eric's mind that he should come and hang out with us on occasion. When he showed up he was totally inappropriate, touching her in ways that a friend wouldn't touch, emphasizing subtle claims of ownership, doing the things that boys do when they want to mark territory that they've want to say "I've been there, whatever you're doing, I've already done it and there's nothing you can do about it" Jack definitely did not appreciate it at all. Jack felt threatened, no one had told him about the thing between Audrey and Eric and he wasn't sure he could deal with that. Now everytime we hang out with Eric it seems that he is purposefully aggravating Jack. Jack has a bit problem with Eric (more than a little bit of a problem actually) because he doesn't think that Eric is respectful of women in general. Now there may be some more stuff that has gone on there that I don't know about. Now a few days ago Eric went on a 'walk in the park' with one of Jack's best friends recent ex-girlfriends (something that no one's really sure is over yet) and I don't know if that means you know, just a walk in the park, or if it means something else entirely (knowing Eric something else entirely is more likely) and I don't think Jack's friend knows, but I know some people know who aren't to happy about it, and these people don't have any problem beating the shit out of Eric, or any great love of Audrey ( not that they don't like her) that will stop them from beating the shit out of him...and, I personally, don't think I care to stop them. When Eric is around I just don't feel comfortable, I feel like anytime I open my mouth it's an invitation to be attacked by him. So...I'm just trying to help everyone sort out how they feel about it. Jack would love it if Audrey would severe all ties with him. But Audrey feels some kind of obligation to stay friends with him and hasn't so far every brought herself to talk to him about the issues...

so that's it...I wish I had an un-biased source that I could go to and explain this all to, just so they could look at it with an unprejudiced eye and tell me if what I shoudl really tell people...gah...drama

Throw your...Heart to me...

SO...I've decided that the reason that I can't sleep is because my mind is much to full of this entire weekend and all the things that have run through it like a dump truck. So let me start at the beginning...

FRIDAY

this day started off with me going to Spanish and then skipping the rest of my classes to come home and get ready to go to Sarah's Birthday party out at the family's Birch Bay property. It was pretty cool, we got there, set up, made my mom and her friend drinks, went back because we forgot stuff. Around 7pm other people finally started to show up, a few of sarah's friends were first, Kat and Noah, and then Amber, and Aaron, Finally my friends showed up at about 7:45, later than they said they would be as usual, but there none the less. Lacy couldn't stay the night as originally planned because her dad needed the car in the morning...so Krystal, Mary, and I took the back room of the cabin and left Audrey and Jack the front room. Jack's so funny he actually had to make the bed. Then Kat and Noah invaded and Jack came and found me because they were messing up all his precious work on making the bed (not that it really lasted anyway) We all ended up in bed kind of early around midnight or so, because, well, the week just kind of wipes you, y'know?

SATURDAY

So, we started off Saturday morning by waking up at 10:30 and making some delicious Hershey's waffles in the waffle maker and then going and jumping on everyone else to wake them up. I didn't sleep very well, but a lot of people apparently slept like rocks...it was way to hot in the cabin for me because Krystal insisted upon having the heat turned on...crazy girl...at about 11:30 Audrey, Jack, and Krystal decided to head home because we were going to head out to Pt. Roberts later that day to have a party at Barrett's house. About an hour later I decided to do the same thing, because I was in desperate need of a shower. I lazed around the house all afternoon, until 7pm rolled around and I went to meet everyone at Dairy Queen to head out to the Pt. we got up into canada and over down to Pt. Roberts (which is still WA, you just have to go through canada to get there, it's all very strange and you have to go through the border twice) we went to the store and bought some beer and bitch beer and then to Barrett's we went. It's a really pretty little light blue beach house, that's about a block from the beach, the garage has been turned into "Barrett's Hang Out Spot" and the rest of the house is cute and his mom's (though she wasn't home so we got full range of the place) when we got there, Barrett was talking to this cute little German lady who was like "I don't support drinking, but here's a 20 to go buy yourselves a case" and "I don't smoke pot, but if you could make me some brownies I'd really appreciate it" It was hilarious, and then she told us a bunch of stories that went no where, and then she left. It was cute. So we started drinking about when we got there, I shot-raced Danelle and almost won, she beat me by a hair, but after that I stopped drinking to keep an eye on everyone else. Lacy was busy flirting with guys in the hot tub, and I wandered up the stairs, and talked to Jack about a bunch of stuff that was bugging him (how Audrey's dad can't see how much he loves Audrey and is obsessed with Audrey marrying Nate, and how much he can't stand Eric and just wants to kick his ass and is probably going to at some point) then he and Danelle went on a walk so he could cool down, he was probably in the worst temper than I've ever seen Jack in. The hot tub people pressured Audrey to getting in with them, she got out almost right after she got in, and while we were hiding in the living room we heard one of the guys say "I think it's time for Jack to fly away, and Audrey to come to me!" after that we decided that Audrey shouldn't go in without Jack. At about 1:15, Bryce and I (Bryce was playing parent with me) decided it would probably be best for Lacy to get out (the same guy who was hitting on Audrey was starting to really hit on her) but we couldn't get her out, finally she had to go to the bathroom, and then I just wouldn't let her get back in, I told her she could go in after 20 minutes, if she promised to only spend 15 minutes in there and then get dressed, 14 minutes later she was nearly passed out sitting by the hot tub, so Bryce and I got her up and put her into bed with her bathing suit on, then we went down the road to try and collect Mickey, but he wouldn't let us, so we left him there to wander back on his own, later on they all decided to dance again, and I just laughed my ass off because now the guy who had been trying for Audrey and Lacy was after Danelle, then Barrett and Mickey decided to have a rap-off, meanwhile this guy goes and sits in a chair and pretty much passes out with his eyes open, so Barrett totally gets served in the rap-off and the start a sing off, the guy stumbles outside and passes out on the pavement, Jack goes and gets him and puts him on a couch, Barrett completely wins the sing off and we all drink a little water before we go to bed at 4am sunday morning.

Sunday

Sunday we all end up getting up at about noon, then we head over to this TJ's place for some lunch/breakfast and Jack get's free food (I swear he gets that all the time) and we head home after that back through the border through a half hour wild goose chase in which we get lost, we finally make it back to a spot near the Blaine border crossing and i decided that's it, I'm crossing here, screw going all the way back to Lynden, so I go through Blaine and end up earning my half hour back by making Danelle and Jack wait for us at DQ for half an hour, it was great, after that we all went home and slept because it was about 5pm by the time we got back. Very long weekend

So, that was the adventure that was my weekend...it was good...and lovely, and I think I rather enjoy not being the only parent at a drunken party...it's kind of nice, though apparently Bryce is usually the first one throwing up...he is quite the cute boy, but I've noticed that I find a lot of boys cute lately...I think my next post will be about the Eric situation...that's totally what I should have written my Ann Landers Assignment on...maybe then I'd have a clue as to what to do about the whole thing...I mean, I know what has to be done but...I don't know how to do it in the way that will save the most feelings...gah...I'll explain it all another time...I don't feel quite so full anymore...I think this makes up for the days of not posting

Cleveland Rocks!

A huge, wet, sloppy kiss to whoever can guess what show I'm watching as I write this. So, I have the flu, and it really sort of sucks, but I knew I was getting sick and I so often just run myself into the ground anyway. That's me for ya. Other than that...my garden is beautiful. Though it needs to be weeded. It's still pretty, I need to go harvest the spinach. And some of the lettuce needs to be as well. Mmmmmm, salad.

And...uh...I amazingly have nothing to say today really. It's Thursday and hot and sunny outside. I want to go out and have fun...stupid flu.

Yours is a Glorius Sacrifice!

Today is a beautiful day. The sun is out and it's quite hot outside. I love it to say the least, this kind of weather makes me feel good.

Last night I told one of my friends that I don't like it that drinking seems to be the only thing that we do for fun anymore. There's no more random, funny things, we either watch movies, go to Applebee's or drink. I personally don't like who most people are when they are drunk. Everyone being drunk also makes me stress out because then I feel I have to watch out for them. I know someone who would just tell me that I'm being stupid and that I shouldn't care so much and so on and so forth. Let people do what they want. I'm not saying my friends can't drink, I don't mind it once or twice a month, and I don't hate them for doing it, it's an easy way out of boredom. I find that it's more money than it's really worth. Lately, I haven't had enough of that either. I think I need to express this to more of my friends though so that they know how I feel about the whole drinking thing (though by now they probably all know, just because once you tell one, you basically tell them all). I did make them promise that if they are ever drunk and need a ride to call me because if something happened to them I'd have to kill one of us.

Anyway, my garden is doing good. The tomatoes are starting to flower. The spinach and lettuce are almost ready along with the radishes. The pepper plants don't really have anything going for them yet, except a little new growth on top. The beans should sprout within the next 4 or 5 days, and the zuchinni are sprouted and growing. However, my mother's foxglove plant fell over so i had to tie it up to a pole. Now I need to find something else to tie that tomato plant too. hmmmmm....

I'm not a grandpa!

So...Today got a whole lot better when my favorite artist drew the whole cast of Firefly as chibi's. Now I'm watching Firefly and waiting with bated breath for the movie to come out this fall. (Serenity, for those of you not in the know, is the name of the movie). One good question though, is why is Mal (the captain) obsessed with hats? I think that in almost every episode you could find a comment he makes about some kind of hat. Other than that I still feel quite not me. But I am determined to beat it down. I will not feel left behind. Because I am not. So there.

In other news, I had this idea today during math. What if I wrote a storyline for the sequel to Loom, and sent it to George Lucas. Maybe he would consider it now that his precious Star Wars saga is over. I mean, they completely set Loom up for a sequel and then nothing happened it's been 15 years since the original. I think we can still pick it up with a computer game and a PS2 and X-box release. I mean, it was a really good game with a really original story line that had a lot of potential to keep going. How can you just leave that lying there? Maybe he'll sell it to someone who will develope it...no, Loom is his baby, right up there with Star Wars and the less known but well-respected Monkey Island. Which apparently there will be another one of those, sometime in the future, though no time soon. But at least I have that to keep me looking forward to that. I'm wondering when the next Final Fantasy will be as well.

I live for games and movies. So X-men 3 and Serenity are what I'm really looking forward to now. As well as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Of course, there are a few more that I look forward to, though I can't think of them now. Spiderman 3 might be interesting. I hope everyone out there in the www is having a good day. Go on and have a party now!

You'll be Interested in what I found out...

So, I'm beginning to think I know what's wrong lately, with me, that is.

I think that because I'm lacking any real problems with anyone that I'm trying to create them myself. Not so much conciously as unconsciously. You know, little things, like not contributing to conversations when I could. Or just avoiding peoples phone calls and then getting mad when they don't call me. Stupid little stuff that I could entirely do with out. I think it's because I feel ignored. Everyone seems to have someone, but I don't have anyone to talk to about the little things that bug me, so they all just pile up and I'm left with this fuming, steaming mess up inside of me that I don't want. I'm not sure about what I need to do to get rid of it. Maybe I need to take some time to myself, or maybe I need to get really drunk and tell everyone exactly what I think of them. Which might end up badly.

But either way, the new kitten loves junk food, specifically no-bake cookies. Now it's sleeping in Sarah's bed...because it's a crazy kitten and he thinks he's a person. That's what we get for having a weird kitten don't ya know!

The days are numbered...

oh, I have sush fun sitting here, eating sour ice-breakers and watchin Dune the miniseries, not the actual movie. But it's good. Now I'm waiting for it to be over so I can watch Muppet Treasure Island because that is such a good movie. In other news I skipped church today just because I didn't want to get up, so I probably could have gone to that party out at Pt. Roberts the other night, but I didn't really want to, I'd just feel out of place some more and I hate that. I've had this urge to write stories recently, but I don't know what kind of stories. It's hard to decide and some of the stuff that I write seems to come out so juvenile. I despise feeling that my writing is juvenile.

I really should work on my homework, I have some Spanish to do and some Math, but I'm still waiting for Mary to switch her laundry around so that I can wash mine and then take a shower. Right now I feel kind of greasy, and that's not very much fun. College is only going for another 3 weeks, and then I have about 12 days of summer vacation before I go to work at camp. That's gonna be hard, we definitely need to do something in August. I'm considering going on a roadtrip in August. I've discovered that I really want to go to Yellowstone National Park. I mean, it's only about 1000 miles away, it'll only take about $125 in gas to get there, even if gas costs three dollars, and it's a gorgeous place. There are plenty of places to stop along the way that are super cool places. So it would be a lot of fun. That's my evil plan, even if I have to go by myself!

The Little Things

So, the infamous first post. I've never been quite sure what to do with these first posts in the past. But now that I am older and wiser, perhaps I have a better idea. I am at the point in my life where I need to make a decision about what I want to do with the rest of it. Do I want to persue a career in the field of anthropology, which i have a passion for and would be happily satisfied doing for the rest of my life i think, or should i persue something like journalism, which i have more of a love/hate relationship about but I am passionate about is either way (i.e. i either passionately love it or passionately hate it). I am also at the point where most of my friends seem to be wanting to move off in their own directions and settle into little routines with their new found post-highschool boyfriends. I am nowhere near the point where I even wish to settle into some comfortable routine with a boy. It makes me feel further separated from them, and more like they won't understand. This blog is more of a place for me to vent about how different I feel from them in horribly cliched terms and maybe, just maybe express some original thoughts of my own.

This is also kind of a place for me to exercise my writing, I try to make an effort to write everyday, and this will hopefully allow me to keep better track of it and maybe help with some character developement for my stories, and things like that. Also maybe if I write an interesting essay for school I will post it in here. There's a lot of possibilities...meanwhile, here's my summer reading list:

•Lost in the Forest by Sue Miller
•Into Thin Air: A personal account of the Mt. Everest disaster by Jon Krakauer
•The Color of Water: A black man’s tribute to his white mother by James McBride
•Aloft by Chang-Rae Lee
•Sula by toni Morrison
•Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: A Novel by jonathan safran Foer
•Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
•Mythology: Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton
•1776 by David Mccullough
•Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Ann Lamott
•The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler
•The Peoples History of the United States: 1492-Present by Howard Zim
•My Life by Bill Clinton
•Invisibly man by Ralph Ellison
•The house on mango street by Sandra Cisneros
•Gifted Hands by Ben Carson & Cecil Murphey
•Animal Farm by George Orwell
•On the road by jack Kerouac & Ann Charters
•I Know why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
•The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
•A separate Peace by John Knowles
•Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
•Undaunted courage by Stephen E. Ambrose
•The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho & Alan R. Clarke

So far I've finished The Color of Water and I am now reading Aloft which is a lot harder to get into. The language in it is so caught up in itself and the timeline is hard to follow and it's a lot easier to read an uplifting book like The Color of Water than it is to read a depressing book as Aloft is so far...

That's about all I have to say for now. And it's time to go set up the rest of my blog.