shoo bee doo bee doooo

so here i am sitting at my desk at work once again and pondering what i think of the world...i talked to audrey tonight again about her and jack, and how jack thinks he knows what's best for her (which would be breaking up with him, so James Dean "I'm a bad man" like) and Audrey knows that she wants to stay together with him, no matter how long she has to wait, but Jack can't really accept that. I think that if she keeps telling him that she's not leaving he's going to get it eventually. I just hope that the stuff that Derek heard about isn't true, I know how things have a way of getting twisted when they are told to him, but sometimes he is right.

Lacy I'm also worried about, she gets really depressed when she's drunk and that's not a good thing, like she's fine when she's around a lot of people but as soon as she's alone or one on one she starts to spiral down into a not good place. It's things like that that cause me to worry about people.

I'm also worried about Eric and his fishing boat this summer, it just doesn't seem like a place that he'd be. And there are a lot of accidents that can happen on a fishing boat. Lots of accidents do happen and I hope that for his sake and Rachel's none of those things happen to him. I like Rachel, I hope that if she and Eric do get married that they make it work for the long run, I'd like to see that. It would also give Eric something constant to depend on, but I also think that it would be a blow to Lacy, because Eric was a make-out buddy and what it comes down to is that it's just another guy who's leaving her for a younger girl or something like that. Poor girl, I often think Lacy perceives things that happen as slights to her personally, which they rarely ever are, though they might be sometimes, but she takes everything much to personally on the whole.

I'm glad I don't really have to worry about Krystal and Josh at this point. They are pretty solid in how they feel about eachother, and what speed and where they want to take their relationship. I know that a lot of the time Krystal and Josh make Lacy and Audrey feel bad because they are so happy together and Lacy doesn't have that, and Audrey doesn't have it currently with Jack with all the troubles that they're going through right now. But I'm over that point of being jealous of other people's relationships. Krystal and Josh are really good about not rubbing it in other people's faces, I think. Lacy's relationships always bother me because i think she does have a tendency to rub it in people's faces that she has someone and you don't. It's not even directly, but just the way she acts.

I'm a little worried about Sarah and her need of a boy who knows what he's doing and where he's going and exactly what he wants out of a relationship with her. She says she's sick of guys who don't know. And i'm worried about mary and her self-esteem, there's only so much i can build her up, those people she hangs out with keep tearing down all my hard work and she knows it too. She tells me that they are making her self-esteem less and all i have to tell her is to stop hanging out with them, but then who is she supposed to hang out with she asks me, and i honestly don't know. There's always Brent. But Brent hangs out with Zach and Zach and Mary can't stand each other. GARG.

Anyway, AFI has a new CD coming out next month that i'm pretty excited about, i may just have to go back to my Emo/Goth days to enjoy the finer aspects of it...hopefully this transition will not be accompanied by the black hair, because it really looks awful on me! (yay, i can finally admit that). I think I like AFI because it always seems like you're a part of something much larger than just yourself. And that means a lot to me that the band likes to keep it that way, I think it's a very important aspect of their appeal.

THE END

things that go bump in the hospital

so, i totally am completely at a loss about what to do about the whole Eric situation...i want to do something, but i don't know that i can because he's really the one who needs to come out and be like "i said some shit about you guys, and i feel really bad about it, i just wanted you to know" he doesn't need to specify what it was, he just needs to apologize, and then he needs to make things right with Ryan because that was a really shitty thing he did to him. I just don't know that he's even considered a friend anymore, and i know deep down, that he's not, and maybe he never was, not to me at least, i mean...just one of those people who you always think you're close to and then one day it hits you that you're not really...and then you don't know what to do about it because how can you make something that was never there better...and does Rachel know about him making out with Lacy while or just before they supposedly started going out? i feel so bad for that girl because i'm sure that he thinks he loves her until something better comes along, or something shiny and new...i just don't think there's really anything i can do about the whole situation except watch it implode at a distance...and then maybe try to help pick up the pieces, if i'm even allowed
i just want to sit him down at coffee and tell him everything that we know that he's said because of various people having a big mouth...and i want to tell him not to get mad at him because someone would have told us eventually and he should realize that's true about everything that he says...but i miss the boy and i don't really know what to do about it...i feel so helpless in this situation...agh...