and the world spins on...

So, party planning not so much what i'm good at...got some people coming that i don't exactly want to come, but hopefully they won't stay that long. Sarah is dealing with Chris Hadley again, which is stupid. I just want people like that to go away. It's going to be an interesting night. I don't know how i'm going to get people to park were i want them to park but i'm going to try my bestest. I can't believe that i have to work another 12 hours tomorrow...at least it's money though, right? and money is what makes me fix my car. Got an interesting book today. It's called Fondling Your Muse, it's a humourous book about how to write a novel. Though most of it is humour there is a little bit of advice to be found in it. And that's very good. because advice is what i need. I might actually see if there's a writing a novel for dummies book because i would like some info on writing more well rounded characters. I need to continue on with the novel that i half finished for nanowrimo. I would really like to get that one published in teen fiction. I think i could sell a few. Perhaps not a best seller, but definitely something. That would be good. I could possibly bring in some royalties off of it and that would help with the finances a little. mmm...finances

All work and no play...

so i've been working over 12 hours the last two days and it's hard, much harder than i ever thought i would be, not so much the work itself but the dragging yourself out of bed at 4:30am to milk cows, and then dragging yourself to sit behind a desk for another 8 hours...doing stuff that's pretty much mindless...i am apparently a genius though according to the people at the hospital to be able to do as much as i can already, it's good to be complemented...mmmhmmm...i need to go to bed now however, because that's a good place to go when you have to work in the morning. Mom and Dad are having fun in hawaii which is good

Oh yes, Yes I do.

so...I don't know if i mentioned but i have an exciting new job. I did also talk to Audrey today. And i feel a little bit better about the whole thing. Other than that i don't know.

I'm supposed to be having this party, and i desperately wish to keep it small, but Mary keeps asking if she can invite all these people, and if i invite those people i need to invite yet more people...and i don't really want to. I want to keep it small. I mean like 10, MAYBE 12 people. That many are easy to manage and we have enough beds for them. But we're getting up into the maybe 17 range, and that makes me uncomfortable because i have to milk the next morning and work the next afternoon. So i think i'm going to say no to more people, it's just to much.

Eric is back up and he hasn't hung out with us once which isn't a huge surprise since he's all mister i'm gonna get married. That's so weird, i don't think he should do it, the girl is much to innocent for him and in about 3 years they're not going to be having any fun anymore and knowing eric he'll stay married just for the kids and then he'll be dooming himself to the life off his parents.

Ryan, don't even get me started, he's so weird, he thinks he's allowed to be way more cozy with girls than he should be and then doesn't ever realize that they don't want thim that close, need i explain anymore why i'm not inviting him?

Greg...Greg is someone i would have invited 6 months ago just because I feel pity for him. But that was before camp where he decided that my sister was the hugest flirt ever and totally led him on. Now i find him annoying because his ridiculous need for a girlfriend is consuming him...i swear it's all he ever thinks about and he's very bitter towards people who have a significant other and are happy. I don't think i really want to deal with him when he's drunk, i'm scared of what he might try to pull on my little sisters, or my friends since he cut Jack with a box top the other day. I am slightly concerned about him, but he's had plenty of chances to get a girlfriend, he's just to blinded by what he wants to see it. He wants a pretty pretty girl, maybe that's not what he's meant to have. He just makes me very angry, and him drunk is not my idea of a fun night, especially since i have to get up at 4:30 and go milk cows. I want to keep it fairly low key.

I seem to be having problems with everyone lately don't i? I just think it's that time of year. The time of year when i have infinite problems. I need to shock the hot tub before the 21st as well. Okay...i'm done and i'm going now. I get to sleep in tomorrow and i should savor the days while i have them

L'America

So, listening to the Doors, and basically just chilling, got up at 4:30am and milked cows...i don't think it's going to be that bad while dad is gone. Two cows came fresh today, mad cow and some heifer...that's the only part i'm worried about because we have to CMT them and stuff like that. I still think that my priorities are way different than anyone elses in the group of people that i hang out in. (Hyacinth House::The Doors) It's just kind of weirding me out right now. I know that i need to write the second half of that novel. And I'm already thinking about what I can write for next year. I'm thinking something modernistic instead of something that's fantasy. I think that might actually be a little easier. Murder mystery or something like that maybe. I have a few ideas floating around in my head and i should probably get them down on paper. Just sketch them out, i think that's allowed before November. And I can always write background stories...I have to stop typing now though because my mum wants the computer. (L.A. Woman::The Doors)

**toilet water**

Well, i feel really really mad at Audrey right now because I think that if it was a choice between something that i really really needed her there for and just hanging out with her boyfriend that she would choose him. Now, generally, i wouldn't have a problem with her picking him over me. I understand that he's her boyfriend and that they're in love and so on and so forth. But i really needed her for something tonight, and this is something I told her about weeks ago and reminded her about, so i feel really really betrayed having her not even call me and tell me that she's going to ditch me and go to a movie with her boyfriend. The only friend i have who i can trust is Krystal, and she's all the way in freaking Mexico. I feel that Krystal is the only one who wouldn't leave me stranded because of a boy. Lacy would, Audrey might not have a while ago, but i think she would now. I just don't know what to do. Do you get more friends? But how would I go about doing that? And it's basically inevitable that all of your friends eventually get boyfriends, what are you then? Just the fifth wheel who hangs around with them while they're all pretending to watch the movie and are really just making out? It's kind of pathetic I think that we can hardly go one night without calling boys to come over. What happened to female independence? To having the boys being the ones who call us? What happened to not needing the boys in order to have a good time? I feel like I'm surrounded by people who can't justify their existence without men, and that makes me feel weird. It makes me feel that it means i should have a boy, but at the same time it disgusts me because I don't want to be one of those people who needs a boy. It doesn't help that I don't think myself capable of getting one...but i don't even know how to try because it's so far out of my element. Boys are not one of those things that rank high on my priority list. School, Work, Career, those are thinks that have rank. Boys are down under Toilet Paper or something like that. It's just not something that matters a ton to me, though it seems to matter a lot to some of my friends. I mean, are our lists of priorities so different that hanging out with them has become kind of a...dare I say, waste of my time? I don't want it to be a waste, but at the same time, we don't have a lot in common anymore. I just don't know what to do about. Maybe I'll e-mail this all to Krystal or something like that and see what she thinks about it all. I feel like they're all moving in a direction in their lives that is not remotely close to the one i am moving in

**sound of water from the sink**

So, lately, not much has been happening in the exciting life of Grace. I graduate from the local community college next quarter and then i'm waiting till fall quarter in order to move on to Big People College as I like to refer to it as...everything seems to be moving so fast. I have so many fall back plans if i end up unable to do what i really want to do. I could start a book store with my minor in business and my vast interest in books of all sorts. I could start a bed and breakfast with my friends. There's so many things. Though i'm thinking that what i would really like to do for a few years out of college is go and work in a museum. Just catalogging and examining whatever i happen to come across.

I got some awesome perfume. It's from a place called Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs, though I ordered it from someone who had the samples and didn't want them (she sent me an extra because she's super spiffy!) So now i smell like Eden and i really like the scent on me. Mary is going to love Anne Bonny, because it's very patchouli like with undertones of whatever else. All i can smell is the Eden and it's wonderful. Sgt. Pepper is busy whining because he wants to go outside and i won't let him because he just got all clean. He's very loud and whiney and i think i should throw him upstairs. I also got my copy of (hardcover) Kushiel's Dart today, so it was basically like Christmas early with all the packages that i was opening.

Other than that things in the people area are good. Audrey's insistence on going nowhere with out Jack is beginning to annoy me a tad, but it's something i can deal with . It's like they are glued together at the hip and it's annoying to me, but i'm uncertain as to exactly why. Lacy still bothers me most of the time. She's so weird all of the time and she's like "Male attention!" and then she's like "EW BOYS!"

Bunch of Weirdos