Blue Veins

Tonight has been a decent evening at work. I am so glad that I only have one more evening shift after today before 4 days off. I am eager to see the people that I do not see during the week. I really miss Christa though. I hope she comes up for a while this summer, and it would be awesome if she came camping with us.

I'm still waiting to see what Audrey wants for a house warming present. And I miss Sarah's b-day BBQ tomorrow. Bummer.

I put on music tonight and that seems to have calmed my brain somewhat. I like calm brain, it's much nicer than my usual thinking of a thousand things all at once non-stop brain. I am so tired of being at work that I can barely type accurately. Ugh. Awfulness.

I cannot wait for the canoes for ski-to-sea on Sunday. Totally my favorite part of that race. The canoe paddlers are such cards. I hope it doesn't get canceled because they decide that the river is to high like they did last year. Because I was all prepared to watch them last year and then they canceled it and I was bummed. This year though, I shall tell them that there must be a canoe leg. Because I need it yo.

I feel like making something epic. But I do not know what I could make that is epic. So I'll just settle for puzzling it out right now. Maybe I should make an epic scarf. Or work on my cross stitch stuff somemore. I find needle work very relaxing, but not something you should do when you are uber tired.

Til later party people.

Comatose...

I've decided to move back to this blog over here just because I like the feel of it better than livejournal. Livejournal feels way to commercial now, especially if you don't want to pay for any of their services. Don't get me wrong, I'll still check in over there from time to time on my friends list, but I probably won't post.

I've just been feeling the need to blog lately. I don't know where it comes from. I'd say that 80% of the time journaling for my own self is enough. (Heaven forbid anyone ever try to read my journals in chronological order, because I switch books as the mood strikes me, it's a weakness, what can I say?)

It's becoming summer slowly here in the Northwest and I love it so much. Each day brings new and exciting plants to life and bloom and all the greatness. I just like to sit outside and enjoy it. However, I'm in the middle of an 8 day stretch at work that I signed up for like and idiot and I'm exhausted and thus not really enjoying much of anything.

I went to an Evelyn Evelyn/Amanda Palmer/Jason Webley/Sxip Shirey concert last week and it was amazing. It was so much fun. I have never felt so much in touch with everyone in the venue. It was great. Especially since it thinned out a bit at the end and all that was left were the people who felt like this was the place that they wanted to be. It was epic. It was something I would do again, anytime, anywhere. It made me feel so great. And you know it's an excellent show when you come away feeling better about yourself and like you've just been seriously entertained.

So, struggling with a lot of people issues lately. Just feeling alone and like I have no one to do stuff with. Which is usually largely my own fault because I don't call people and just dumb shit like that. And I don't feel appreciated, even though I know that it isn't true that I'm not appreciated. I'm trying to figure out who I don't feel appreciated by, and it's not anyone that I can put my finger on, it's just my vague feeling of meh-ness. I want to run away sometimes, but I don't really. Because running away would be hard and I don't feel like I ever do anything hard anymore. Grrrr...I also think it's because I don't have enough music. I need more music. And more art. I always wonder why I don't paint or carve or sculpt or do anything like that. And I'm finding more and more people annoying at work and getting really easily aggravated (which could also be the working 8 days in a row thing).

I just don't know what I want to do right now. I want to do everything and that's paralyzing me so that I end up doing nothing.

Frustration.